A Tired Teachers Tales of Fourth Quarter Fall Out

I'm so tired that I cannot even think straight after 3pm. I come home and I immediately get into my pajamas and go to bed. Some days I question my life choices other days I laugh about the silly moments that happened in my classroom.

I know that I am not the only one feeling this way but man I am exhausted by the end of the day. Every time I think about what it would be like to have a different career; I cant see myself doing anything other than what I am doing now!

It is that time of year that every teacher dreads...The last 7 weeks of school where there are no holidays or three day weekends to recharge in the sun and get a few extra hours of much needed sleep. April is filled with so much test prep and reviews to get our students ready for a test that we don't even have a clear picture of what they will be tested on or how it will be graded. It is overwhelming to know that we work incredibly hard and can prepare them as much as we can to only find out that they didn't show up for the test or they got invalidated due to their cell phones or even their attitude. As a reading teacher it is our job to make sure our students make growth, but a part of me is so disappointed when I see some of my students in 10th grade reading that had so much potential to pass the test!

State tests DO NOT show an accurate picture of what our students are capable of. If anything they are the driving force for student lack of confidence and lack of interest in school. I have SO MANY students this year that try their absolute best, but always tend to second guess themselves; when they get the answer wrong I see the disappointment in their faces and hear it in their voices. I have a LOT of students that do not have the confidence to work independently, because when they don't have someone to talk it out with they get anxious and choose the first answer that stands out to them and move on. They do not see the point in doing well, if they are feeling a lack of confidence in their abilities they give up since they feel as though they are going to fail anyway.

I have been noticing that now that we are in the 4th quarter and working on test prep, student behavior and focus is at an all time low. I have spent days literally talking to the walls of my classroom, because that is the only thing that is listening to me. I have simply looked at my students and said "What's the point? You are all not listening anyway." without them even noticing. I have tried everything in my power to get through to them, nothing seems to work. I usually pride myself in having great relationships with my students and this rarely happens, but this group of kiddos is just different. I have to remind myself that they were in Covid lock down at a very pivotal moment in their lives (middle school) and that they have quite a few gaps that they need to overcome academically and socially. I have to remind myself that even though I am aware of all this it is ok to feel the way I do. I however, cannot let the stress affect me the way it has been the past few weeks. I have had hives all over my body, migraines, muscle aches, back pain, and so much more and it all comes down to the stress of this job. I need SUMMER and I need summer fast.

So many people say that we are lucky to have our summers off, but so many of those people do not realize that we need those weeks to recoup and recharge from what the school year handed us. Yes we know what we got ourselves into, but it doesn't mean that it is ok for educators to feel this much stress and trauma from their jobs. I wish that things would be easier, but it just feels like more will be added to our plates in the coming months. I am nervous for the 2023-2024 school year, and this one isn't even over yet.